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Most importantly, a therapist can help you figure out how to become self-sufficient. Don't Wait Until After the Holidays You already know the holidays are not going to be difficult. Divorce lawyers often see an increase in clients before, during, and after Christmas.It's also easier to get used to an empty home before the holidays.If you and your spouse can work out an amicable agreement on your own, you can file what's known as an "uncontested" divorce.This will save you both time and money in court costs.If you wait (and fight) through the season, you may destroy any chances for an amicable split and wind up hashing out your differences in court. Don't Forget About Taxes Typically, the person who is awarded custody of the children gets the house. If you can't afford the mortgage, taxes and upkeep on the house, you want to ask for the investment portfolio of equal value instead.However, before declaring yourself king or queen of your block, remember:single people are not allowed to shelter as many capital gains from taxes. Newly-purchased stocks may be more desirable because they will cost you less in capital gains taxes. Don't "Settle" Early Just because you want out of your marriage immediately doesn't mean you should forfeit your financial security.Other states allow an attorney and client who had a sexual relationship before the case to continue the relationship. Refocus your energy so you can attend their school and after-school events, help them with homework, and take them out once in a while to the movies or the zoo. Though you should be comfortable talking with your children about the divorce, the point of this divorce is to relieve stress on you and your family. Don't Refuse to See a Therapist Seeing a therapist can help you get through the range of emotions that you will experience when dealing with divorce.In either case, sleeping with your lawyer can compromise your attorney-client communications because you may be charged with adultery for the infidelity. Don't Take It Out On the Kids Children need a supportive environment to deal with divorce. It is a good idea to get help before you become extremely depressed or angry. They are also a professional who can show you how to relax, how to talk to your kids, and how to remain calm in court.
If you decide to retain legal counsel, remember to bring three things to the first meeting with your lawyer so you can assess what you will need once separated: a balance sheet listing the family's assets and debts, an accounting sheet of your income and expenses, and your tax return. Though it may be difficult to make ends meet, you should get used to having less now.Mediation is more of an-ongoing process than a one-time intervention.Although lawyers are generally not allowed into mediation sessions, you can consult a lawyer at any time during the process to make sure you are getting the right result. Don't Sleep With Your Lawyer It's easy to get close to the one person who is on your side. Some states prohibit all sexual activity between an attorney and client.In November 2004, a Spokane County, Washington judge refused to allow Shawnna Hughes, a pregnant woman, to divorce her abusive husband. But because Hughes became pregnant during the divorce proceedings, state law presumes Hughes' husband to be the father of her child born up to 300 days after her divorce.The judge refused to grant Hughes a divorce because he was concerned there would be no father to take financial responsibility for the child.